All posts by Kionda

A Rant: Overthinking My Online Connections

Technology influences me in numerous ways. This is just a rant on a small fraction of its effects. You see, I have some old beliefs that are kind of contradicting with the current times; at least the way I am viewing it in my mind at the moment. So I wanted to “jot” it down here on the inter webs. I had this serious desire to write this out for some reason. Not sure exactly why since it kind of raises my vulnerability level past a comfortable mark. That could be a valid reason for sharing, yeah? Anyway . . .

Coming right out with it, I seem to have an issue with wanting to get to know someone on social media. Not the underlying fear of this practice. Not entirely, no. This is where my old school train of thought comes in. When I meet someone in person there are levels of intrigue that are present. Depending on that level, I may want to know more . . . or not. In the instances where I want to know more I take action to do just that. This applies to all aspects of relationships from friends, to lovers, to possible lifelong partners, and everything else in between. I believe this is true for many people. If one is intrigued by another than of course they would want to know more to build upon that intrigue. Getting to know someone is exciting.

*Illustration by Robert Neubecker

This is where it gets a little icky for me. Possibly nutty as well. The same scenario but I am seeing this person online. Mind you, we haven’t met. I may have seen a few tweets, FB posts, or Youtube clips that piqued my interest. I liked what I saw. I was intrigued. So what now? The obvious answer may be to reach out using the same social media avenues you found this intriguing person using. This is where I get stuck. The difference between my “real world” scenario and the social media scenario is that there is no physical connection or initial two way communication in the latter. There is in the former which generates so many more ways to connect; body language, tone of voice, etc. Plus that meeting in the former example was most likely possible because of a mutual interest. It seems one way at first with the social media scenario.

There is a huge possibility that I am over thinking this entire thing. I find myself in an interesting predicament; I became aware of someone online via an awesome video they posted. They piqued my interest. I want to know more; I am a very curious being. Supposed roadblock #1 is that their social media presence is damn near close to celebrity status if not already there. Supposed roadblock #2 is that they are in a country half way around the world. My mere mortal status doesn’t have a chance says my mind. I need to work on that messaging. I think I need to lighten up as well. The thing is I believe that a crucial part of the getting to know someone process is lost with just using social media alone. We lose the exchange of vibes and other energy when we are in close proximity practically feeding off of each other wanting to know more. It’s a very intimate process that I enjoy immensely.

Yeah, I’m probably just blowing this up a bit much. I’ve never had any issues like this before with any of the awesome humans I have met online. Interesting.

My curiosity is strong with this one.
It’s a mystery.
I like mysteries.

You’ll Never Get Out Alive

Nah, but seriously. I’ve often wondered how people survive their 30s. I even believe I asked my mother once. I don’t remember her answer.

My 30s have been pretty fabulous thus far. Of course, I have had my many moments. News flash, I’m having a small mental moment now. Overall though my 30s have, and will continue to be, a phenomenal ride.

I started over just shy of 32 on a futon with an adorable newborn as a roommate. I held my dream job as a photographer until my vehicular companion snapped her timing belt. I danced…and danced…and danced until it engulfed me in a blanket of such affection that I had no choice but to surrender. I’ve lusted. I’ve loved. I’ve lost. I’ve forgiven past deeds. I’ve lost hope and found it again many, many times. I’m still figuring it all out as time ticks on.

One day at a time. The best way to take it all in.

Or Did I? Hehehe!

Giving It Another Go?

Under Construction

A couple of Fridays ago I sat with my bulky laptop on my lap and began to give my blog a new look. You see, I’ve missed typing my thoughts here. I’ve longed to come back to do so. It’s been over two years. Two years. Why now?

I’m not sure really. I stopped for many reasons. Stress from my situation at the time was the bulk of it. Even after that stress was no more I still did not come back. I felt as though I had nothing to say. I still feel this way. Believe that I was very confused as to why I was giving my blog attention. Why? So I can ignore it for another two years?

The simple answer. I have the desire to write again. Not sure what it will be about and how often. There will be stuff here though. I’m not even that worried about the mess that I’ve made of my blog. Just an issue with my featured image showing up with my content image in my main blog roll. That means it’s showing double. It’s an eye sore. Was irritated by it before. Not so much now. My literary home is still technically under construction though. Only until I figure out what to do with it. I may never figure that out. Kind of like my life.

[smiles to herself]

I’m totally ok with that.

Incandescently Happy

Mrs Darcy is Happy

I am a huge fan of the feature film from 2005 Pride & Prejudice. Jane Austen is awesome. I am a fan of British film in general actually. One of my all time favorite films just happens to be My Fair Lady which is actually an American film set in Edwardian London. I sat and watched this film for the first time in awe in the eighth grade. I fell instantly in love with it and all things British.

Anyway, back to Pride & Prejudice.

Mrs. Darcy says something at the end of the American version of the film that really resonates with me.

…completely, and perfectly, and incandescently happy.

What this means to me? To positively glow in bliss and passion. Fully…and without abandon. This is something that I strive for on a daily basis. I do not always make it. That’s the beauty of it though. I DO make it on occasion. It is a glorious feeling when I do. An enchanting site to witness as well.

I have been inspired lately by something that I am not too comfortable in admitting just yet. It’s a rekindling actually. This inspiration has been present since 2007 for me.

Truly and utterly decadent. Hmm…and that’s all I’m going to say about that.

Meridian Park Cherry Broken

Meridian Park Drum Circle

I‘ve been hearing about Meridian Park since before I moved here to DC. I finally was able to visit this beautiful park, also known as Malcolm X park, this past Sunday afternoon. What accompanied my trip were a large number of percussionist banging away in a drum circle. A very delectable treat!

My body movement class meets every Sunday early afternoon. We decided to go on a field trip to experience the drum circle. I was, of course, excited since I LOVE drums. Plus since I’ve heard so much about the park my excitement was amplified.

The trip did not disappoint. The drums were on FIRE! I felt every beat. My body responded in kind. It was a wonderful experience that I originally thought occurred once a year. You can imagine my surprise and utter pleasure when I found that it’s a weekly event! Chyeah!!!

I see more Sunday class field trips to the park packed with blankets, hydration, and food for satisfying noshment. It’s going to be a great summer!