She Muses

I’ve Shied Away Long Enough

Wine & My Journal

I am the type of woman that always kept a journal. Accounts of my day whether positive or negative would be scribbled among the pages. It was always interesting to go back and read my stories. It gave me a chance to evaluate myself on whether I had learned the lesson of that moment or if I still needed to work on it. Either way it was quite a learning experience.

The pages of my journal have been neglected as of late. Sure, there are a few short entries. Mainly they point out how long it has been since writing accompanied by a short synopsis of current events. Each event received one sentence along the lines of “Work is AWESOME,” “Love life is phenomenal,” and “Still dancing and LOVING IT!” There were so many things that weren’t going right that I omitted from those pages.

I’m a firm believer of what you concentrate on will manifest itself. I had grown weary of writing a bunch of negative things in my journal. Instead I would put a positive swing to it. Basically stating the issue and/or annoyance and than listing a suitable plan of action to get past it. This is a wonderful practice that I do for everything that I encounter. I just don’t write it down anymore. Why is that? Hmmm.

Looking in my latest journal I have not written consistently since November of 2012. Something really significant happened at that time which quite honestly fucked me up. I chose to ignore it and everything else that brought attention to it. I did this until this past Christmas. I avoided my journal like the plague during this time. I may be able to show the world that all is well with me. I cannot do this with my journal. The words that I place on those pages are my letters to the Most High. It’s just not possible to bullshit the all knowing.

I’d like to get back to journalling. There is a calming effect with a daily reflection. After a very hard day there is a release with taking pen to paper. Even if tears are involved. Laughter more often than not joins the party. So many good times to chronicle. So many blessed moments. It really is a beautiful thing.