She Muses

Thoughts Of Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda

We’ve all played this game before. The Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda but Didn’t game. Where we think of situations past and wonder. We second guess ourselves which is what the phrase means. I played this game for quite some time now.

Today I played it a bit differently. I thought of a few of my previous Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda situations and I came to the conclusion that I was GLAD that I didn’t. Imagine that!

A few examples:

I had the opportunity to pick up and move to California. I declined that offer at the time because (1) people from New York just don’t do Cali and (2) I would have been missing out on prime years of my nephew’s growth. Plus, I’m in lust with DC at the moment. I needed to continue to feed that lust and make it here my way and on my terms. I’ve been second guessing that decision constantly due to my current job situation.
Reasons why I’m glad I didn’t – – The above listed reasons still apply. Although I don’t plan on settling here, DC still holds my interest for the time being. With the demise of my car I would have been a$$ed out in a place with not very reliable public transport. Yes, even worse than DC. Lol. I also wouldn’t be experiencing my little bit of happiness that I’ve found while here in DC if I was in Cali.

I had a major crush on a certain gentleman for over a year. To the people who knew about this crush they were surprised that I hadn’t let my feelings be known. I wanted him to make the first move. He never did. I was still urged to make a move. I decided against it. After a while I let it go. There was no reason to hold on to something for any additional time if nothing was to be done about it…from either end.
Reasons why I’m glad I didn’t – – I’ve learned that we just are not a good match. He’s good people and the rare times we hang we have a ball but nothing long term would have come from that at all. We’re better friends. Would NOT have wanted to mess that up.

This next one isn’t exactly a Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda moment. It’s more of a series of events that I am now glad took place. These events, situations, and such are what brought me to DC in the first place. I am so happy and grateful for it all. Why? It’s allowed me the opportunity to experience my little bit of happiness here.

You may be asking what my little bit of happiness is. Well, it’s a combination of people, places, and things all wrapped up into a ball of goodness. It’s this combination that keeps me smiling. It’s this combination that I am grateful for. It’s this combination that has my heart.  I am truly blessed.

*Image compliments of http://taraburner.com/misc/coulda-woulda-shoulda.php*

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