It’s been a little over a week since Lucille broke down on me. I’ve gone through a considerably wide spectrum of emotions during this time. Tons of tears were shed. Yes, tons. I’ve been angry. I’ve been sad. There were a few times where I was just…numb. Once the dust settled I began to understand a bit about the WHY of it all. Then it hit me.
My Aha moment. My epiphany.
When I moved here to the DC Metro area I had a plan. I was to acquire both a position and a home that were Metro accessible. That way if I should ever be without a vehicle I would still be ok. DC is a city that you can live, work and play without having a vehicle at all. Very nice and right up my alley.
Things did not turn out this way. A month after I moved here I got my dream position as a photographer. With this position I am required to travel so a vehicle is necessary. I also lived a considerable distance away from the closest Metro station. Again, a vehicle was necessary. I settled into this new path. There were some conflicts that I had to deal with however I was content with what I was doing and where I was going.
My plan was still on my mind though. About three months ago I found a place to live that is only about two miles from a Metro station. Nice! I am also a short distance from the District line so it is very convenient. Metro accessible residence. Check.
So here I am just as happy as can be when Lucille just up and breaks down on me. Of course, I freak out. What am I supposed to do? How can I get this fixed? I need my vehicle for my job. What? How? WHY?
I had the privilege of having dinner with my life coach, Shanel Cooper-Sykes this past Tuesday evening. I wanted to keep my issues to myself as to not bring down the mood of the evening. Shanel wasn’t having it though. So I let her and the rest of the ladies know what was going on. I explained my original plan of having everything be Metro accessible. Me having a car was, in a way, deviating from that plan. I pretty much manifested my current situation. I thought it so I brought it to life. I understood and accepted that. The thing is that is not the entire story.
If any of you have been following me for a while, you will know that I absolutely LOVE my job. This is the first time since I can remember that I’ve actually had this much love for a position that I’ve held. I’m giddy all day. I look forward to going into work. It brings me so much joy.
There is a flip side.
If you’ve been following me for a while you will also know that I am exhausted all the time and not taking very good care of myself. Yes, I love my job however it has been draining me of all of my energy as of late. I have not had any time for family or friends. True, I still make time for other commitments. I’m not 100% during these times and it shows. It’s also not fair to the ones that I hold the commitments to. All of these signals MUST be getting out into the Ether. These vibrations are powerful.
So there are conflicts. My Heart is on cloud 9. My Body is constantly saying “Woman, have you lost it?!” My Mind is content and a bit stressed trying to keep the peace with everyone involved. Yes, I have a lot going on.
Now that I realize what I am doing and what I have done, I must continue. My subconscious is very powerful. Let’s get my conscious there as well. It’s time to go to work. Time to realign and prosper.