She Muses

GYIT: Day 3…Awareness

My day 3 has much to be desired. Let me just say that this day was a total bust for me. Not because of my being aware of factors playing a big roll in my life. No. I have been aware of and have been working on my financial health, mental health, physical health, etc for some time now. My day was a bust because I allowed outside elements to distract and get the best of me.

Normally when this happens I’m hurrying off to some bar for cocktails or shots. It depends on how severe my frustration is or how irritated I am. In this case it was fairly minor so one or two cocktails would have done the trick. That and some time journaling would have set me right again. Since I am doing this challenge, my normal way of ‘unwinding’ is a big no-no. There will be no alcohol consumed by me during these 30 days. Other ways of ‘unwinding’ are in order.

I tried to salvage what was left of my focus and escaped to my emergency sacred space. Where is this you ask? It just happens to be my car. I mentioned her in an earlier post. I’ll formerly introduce you now…her name is Lucille.

Say Hello Lu Lu

Lucille is very special to me because she is the first vehicle that I have owned outright. Yes ladies and gentlemen…she is bought and paid for!

I digress…but can you blame me? I had to share this milestone. 😀

Anyhoo, I drove to this little park right down the street from where I am staying and just sat there. I took in the sights and sounds for a bit before turning to my audiobooks on my iPod. I sat there nice and relaxed, calm and collected for about an hour and a half…maybe two hours. It was a much needed break.

I started Lucille and with that a feeling of dread came over me. I did not want to go back to where I was staying. In that split second of a moment the past two hours vanished. Poof! Gone! This is where I got straight RIDICULOUS as defined by fellow blogger Rachel. Since alcohol was not an option I turned to the next item in my arsenal…chocolate. Not the good kind either…Ben & Jerrys Chocolate Fudge Brownie Ice Cream!


I polished off THIS ENTIRE container in one sitting! Yeah…you can say that the outside elements influenced and got the best of me BIG TIME! Like I said…STRAIGHT RIDICULOUS! Believe me…this WAS NOT my finest moment.

There was definitely a ray of hope for me later on in the evening. After doing an exercise recommended by my mentor and voicing my fears to her, I found that I was going to be just fine. My momentary relapse will not deter me from completing this challenge. I got knocked down. So I got back up, brushed off the dust, and drove on. Why? Because that is what needs to happen.

Lessons Learned…
So what am I aware of?
I am aware that I am FRUSTRATED with my current living situation and it can sometimes get the best of me. The funny thing is I have a plan in the works to change this…it just has not happened yet.

Which brings me to another thing that I am aware of…
I am aware that I am IMPATIENT. Lol. I want it NOW! I just need to realize that things take time and I need to be grateful for what I have and enjoy the ride until my situation changes.

Day 3 is in the bag. Day 4 so far is looking VERY promising. 😀


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