Normally this would be a wonderful thing for me. I am one of those that actually loves being lost. That gives me a chance to explore uncharted territory. That fascinates me to no end. It excites me as well.
This isn’t that type of lost.
This type is making me miserable. So miserable that I have no desire to do any of the things that I enjoy. Two of the main things are capturing moments and dancing till my hearts content. This was quite evident to me yesterday. Sundays I go out and dance. This past Sunday I was not in the mood to do so. That made me sad.
Further thought today made me realize that I had not taken an image since the beginning of June. I was genuinely shocked. Images with my phone do not count. Those are mostly for my blog posts. There haven’t been many of those either but I digress.
I’ve been in a sort of trance as of late. I’ve been trying to figure out my next move…and coming up empty. I’ve been here before a number of times. I do not remember feeling this miserable during those moments. Is this a sign of future moments to come? Interesting.
There are outside sources contributing. I will not get into any of them. No need to immortalize them through my words here. That’s what my journal is for. 😉 These sources will be taken care of in their own time. To be totally honest, one reason for my discontent is because they are not resolving themselves fast enough. Silly me. Where is my patience?
The question is where is the joy and fascination I feel when I am lost? Where is that sense of adventure? It’s time that I locate it and all the other wonderful feelings and emotions that go with it quickly. This negativity, this being miserable is bordering on, if not already reached, ungratefulness.
I DO NOT want to be in that place…..