It was a stormy Friday morning. I had no desire to get drenched before heading into work so I passed by the gas station, mentally kicking myself the entire route to work for doing it. You see, I had smoked my last cigarette the night before. I was in desperate need of my morning fix. My gentleman at the time offered to help by bringing me a pack. By the time late morning came around, in frustration I say to him “This is the longest that I have been without. I might as well quit.” He took that statement seriously. To my horror he recanted his offer. By the time early afternoon came around I was practically snapping peoples heads off. People were afraid. I was sent home.
I’ve told this story to tons of people of how my quitting smoking was a complete accident. So many factors contributed to this monumental day. The downpour in the morning. My crazy busy day. The recanted offer to help. I am thankful for them ALL.
I had a mindset that I just could not quit on my own. I enjoyed smoking way too much. I also was under the impression that my addiction was just too much, too deep. I really believed that I couldn’t kick it. I thought that it would be a wasted effort. So, I continued smoking and enjoyed every second of it. It was my fix. It was my stress relief. It kept me entertained. Sure, I knew the risks. I knew that I smelled like an ashtray. Smokers know these things and really don’t care.
I know that I was a complete and utter bitch the first week of my quitting. I got through meetings, a dinner of meeting the parents, and other social gatherings pretty well. Yes, I am quite proud of myself. 🙂
Believe it or not, I still crave a smoke every now and then. I’ve done very well in combating that craving for the past four years. Wow, four years. I truly believed that wasn’t possible. It’s a beautiful thing what we can accomplish on our own and with the help of others. I did have help. I thank these people every moment I can for assisting me to kick this bad habit of mine. They stopped enabling. Brilliant!
So, now I’m trying to figure out what I’m going to do to celebrate. This is a big deal for me. I need to do this up right.
What do you guys think? Any ideas?